


i wish you looked at me the same way i look at you

by seungwansnose



Category: Red Velvet (K-pop Band)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-15 15:54:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29191881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seungwansnose/pseuds/seungwansnose
Summary: Wendy is confused about her feelings and Seulgi, her best friend since forever, just happens to be caught in the middle of it.As the primary cause of her confusion, of course.
Relationships: Kang Seulgi/Son Seungwan | Wendy
Kudos: 15





	1. sleeping on it (trying not to think, actually)

**Author's Note:**

> this is the first wenseul i ever wrote, so its corny, has a lot of confusing sentences and again, corny.
> 
> i've altered some stuff from the aff version, like the tiles and summary and some of the confusing sentences.
> 
> comments and suggestions are very much appreciated! hope you enjoy :D

Wendy didn't know liking someone could be so complicated.

Well, liking was a light way to put it. She was head over hills for the girl she's been friends since their childhood, Seulgi. She noticed that her usual friendly feelings started to change when both of them went on a road trip on their junior year with their high school class, when Seulgi started to strip in front of her on their shared hotel room, after a long day of walking in museums and aquariums, and enduring their classmates. Wendy thought she was just imagining things as she looked at Seulgi's bare back, as a result of almost exerting herself earlier, but snapped out of her exaustion haze when Seulgi caught her attention.

"Man, I wish I could paint as well as those artists... After seeing that exposition I feel like shit." Seulgi spoke while getting rid of her jeans and throwing them in her bag. "Jezz, those things are tight!"

Wendy blushed hard when she acknowledge that what she was seeing was indeed very real, and only had time to violently look down to the floor to hide her red face from the eyes of her best friend. She never thought that she would be this interested in a worn, navy blue carpet.

"And those fish... " Seulgi continued rambling and turned around to face Wendy. "I still don't understand how they don't sink. I mean, do they balance themselves like we do? I can't wrap my mind into it." She finished her thought while putting her pajama pants.

"Well, if you actually payed attention to class, you would know that they have an organ that does that." Wendy silently sighed, thanking the gods that her voice didn't give her away.

"Really? No way Mr. Choi talked about that, I'd remember. I actually liked biology because I get to study anatomy and improve my drawings." Seulgi said seriously and grunted right after. "Dammit, this shirt- it always gets stuck in my bun."

Wendy lifted her head after the unintentional warning from Seulgi, and looked at her. "Yeah, he talked about that. And that was one of the questions for that surprise quiz." With that, Seulgi looked at her, eyes wide.

"What!? Damn... Guess I really didn't pay attention." She said, mocking a defeat tone. "Well, that's okay. At least I got you to teach me things, right Wan?"

Wendy once again blushed, but not as hard as earlier, and scoffed at the cheesy comment. "Yeah, sure, you dumb bear."

Her friend only looked at her, smiling widely, eyes turned into crescents. "I can be a dumb bear, but you're the dumb bear's best friend. Forever. And you can't change that."

Wendy's heart skipped a beat with her words. "Y-yeah, I guess I can't." She looked at her cellphone to check the time and headed to the bed. "Come on Seulgi, we gotta sleep. Mrs. Kim told us to be at the loby at eight o'clock sharp. She won't be happy if we slept in again..."

"You mean you slept in again, right? Even thought you're a light sleeper you sure took your sweet time to wake up yesterday." Seulgi said as she sat down on the other side of the bed.

"Well, I couldn't sleep because someone snored all night long and didn't want to shift so she could breathe better." Wendy backfired playfully, knowing that Seulgi wasn't at fault, because that wasn't the true reason she stayed awake for so long after Seulgi fell asleep.

"Yeah right, like I'm responsible now..." Seulgi said, sounding defeated. "Well, goodnight Wendy, don't stay up late on your phone!"

"Good night Seul... I'll try..." Wendy turned off the lamp on the bedside table and lay her head on the pillow. After a few minutes of silence, she risked turning her head to peek at Seulgi, whose light snores filled the room. After adjusting her eyes to the darkness, Wendy could see Seulgi's peaceful face turned to her, drool starting to fall from the corner of her mouth. Wendy held back a chuckle and just smiled to herself, thinking that she had a big baby as her best friend. After some time reminiscing about their time together, Wendy's thoughts pulled back the image of semi naked Seulgi, and she bit her lip at the thought of it. Kang Seulgi was her friend, why was she feeling like this? She knew it wasn't an ordinary feeling, but kept asking herself why. Why was she looking at her best friend with other eyes?

Wendy shaked her head as she couldn't answer her own question. She laid there, staring at the ceiling, thinking.

Sleeping in the same bed wasn't a problem for Wendy, but again, she feared she would stay up late again.


	2. bestfriend talk

Looking back to her high school days, Wendy thought it wasn’t so bad.

There were always fun things to learn and study that she always forgot that everyone else didn’t feel the same as she did. She got picked a lot for getting good grades and studying even when she didn’t have to, and school only sucked because of this. Being friends for so long with Seulgi had its perks, like Seulgi defending her when she got picked on. The other kids wouldn’t mess with her because Seulgi was the cliché school sweetheart: funny, beautiful, polite. The only thing that was missing were grades high as Wendy’s, but she got through just fine.

Seulgi was a good friend, Wendy thought. She even saved her from that guy that stole her notes and blackmailed her to do his homework so he wouldn’t trash her notes. Wendy was alone, her locker wasn’t near Seulgi’s, and that guy took advantage of it. But Seulgi had wanted to borrow Wendy’s science book and had went to her locker to ask for it when she saw the guy bullying Wendy.

“Hey man, that’s not nice. Do your own homework.” Seulgi started with a calm but annoyed tone.

“Who are you to talk to me like that? Her girlfriend? You’re always protecting her; how does she repay you? I bet it’s—” The guy inquired, sounding smug, but got cut off by Seulgi.

“Yes, I am. Now stop bothering my girlfriend,” She said, making sure to emphasize the word “girlfriend”. Then she approached him and took the Wendy’s notes from the guy that was clearly confused. “…And get lost.”

He was confused for a second but decided not to challenge Wendy’s “girlfriend” and leave it be. “Yeah, sure, whatever. I’ll get that from someone else.” He said and left, looking back once and scoffed at the sight of Seulgi side hugging Wendy, glaring at him.

“Thanks, Seulgi, I owe you one,” Wendy spoke after the guy disappeared in the hallways.

“Nah, that’s ok,” She said turning to face Wendy and giving her a big smile. “That’s what friends are for, right?”

Wendy smiled back. “Yeah, that’s what friends are for.” She said while ignoring the strange feeling in her chest.

Wendy had a habit of slipping away from reality sometimes, traveling across her memories and reminiscing about them. This morning it wasn’t different, as she found herself being called out by her co-worker.

“Seungwan! Earth to Seungwan! Hello~~~” Her co-worker called her to drag Wendy from her haze.

“Oh, sorry Sooyoung, I was just thinking about— you know what? Nevermind, it’s not relevant anyways… And please, don’t call me Seungwan,” Wendy just shrugged off and patted non existent dust on her pants.

Sooyoung, or Joy, has been her co-worker at the campus café for about a year and since then they have become inseparable.

“I’ll won’t call you Seungwan if you don’t call me Sooyoung. We talked about this a thousand times,” Jesus, she can be annoying sometimes, Wendy thought to herself.

“Did you just call me annoying? Wendy, you know sometimes you think out loud, right?” Dammit.

“You know I didn’t mean that… I’m just… very tired… college is just… very tiring,” Wendy apologized and slumped down in a chair nearby.

“I know, I go to college too,” Joy said matter-of-factly. “Have you been talking to Seulgi? Maybe you’re grumpy because your best friend dumped you because of a guy.”

Oh. Yeah, that happened. She didn’t want to think about it too much. She faked being uninterested and just scoffed at Joy’s question. “Yeah sure, like that could bring me down…” It could. And it kind of did. But she didn’t want to let Sooyoung know she was right.

“Wendy, I don’t know you for a very long time, but I know a lot about you. You can’t try to hide it from me. And besides, you can’t hide your feelings very well,” Joy stated and back patted Wendy, trying to comfort her.

Wendy lifted her head to look at Joy. “Is it that obvious?” For her, she was the best at hiding things. Specially feelings, since she had a lot of them.

“Yeah, you’re just lucky Seulgi is completely oblivious. I thought she would notice, since you were being so obvious, but… man, you two sure are something. You really do complement each other.” Wendy slumped back down with a groan. “But hey! Think on the bright side! She still doesn’t know, and I don’t think she’ll ever figure it out by herself, really.”

“What do I do… it’s been like this since high school,” Wendy started rambling. “I don’t think she’ll ever look at me like that, I mean, we’re best friends since we were five! Our parents get along well—”

“Wendy—”

“—we get along just fine, and we help each other like best friend do, I can’t put that all at risk because of some stupid crush—”

“Seungwan—”

“—you know? We’re fine the way we are and I won’t change that, because if I change that, everything will change and I don’t know If I’m ready for all of this and—”

“WENDY!”

At that, Wendy looked at Joy, surprised by her urgent tone.

“We can talk about that later, we have a costumer.”

“Oh, sorry.” Wendy assented and got to work. Maybe like that she could clear her mind a little of these confusing feelings. Maybe she was overreacting, maybe not. It was too much of a gamble to confess, and to be honest, Wendy didn’t want to confess her feelings for Seulgi because she wasn’t sure. Or she just didn’t want to accept it. Maybe.

Wendy carried out her academic and (not so) romantic life normally after a few weeks of that conversation with Joy, which made her think of her feelings even harder than she was already. She continued talking to Seulgi every now and then, asking about her relationship and talking about nothing, really. But even though they were talking, it didn’t feel like the old times. Wendy knew something changed.

But it was finally Friday and Wendy could do nothing for the rest of the weekend. She got to her dorm and plopped on her bed. She closed her eyes and daydreamed about the marvelous weekend she would have. Maybe she would start by taking a well-deserved nap that would last about twelve hours. Or maybe she would try to cook that recipe she’s been craving since Monday and then bake some dessert, because why not? And then—

A knock on the dorm door brought her out of her daydream and she just sighed. Maybe her nap wouldn’t start so soon. When she opened the door, she was greeted by a smiling Seulgi, holding what appeared to be takeouts.

“Hey! I missed you and I got us some chinese to eat while we watch that anime you talked about!” She spoke in a rushed tone, offering a big smile to the girl looking at her.

“Oh, hey! Sure, come in!” Wendy offered and let her friend in while she locked the door. Why didn’t she call? She always called beforehand.

“So… how are you doing? We haven’t spoken properly for the past few days…” Seulgi started the conversation from the living room, where she put the takeout in the coffee table and sat on the couch, opening the bags and prepping the utensils.

Oh no. Wendy knew this conversation would end badly. She really didn’t want to have this conversation. Not now.

“Oh… I was… busy with school, and the café is always packed, so I don’t get much time to do anything that isn’t studying or working,” Wendy said while looking down, feeling guilty.

“Wendy. Come on. We’ve been best friends for years.” She fidgeted a little with the utensils then continued. “The truth is, I didn’t come here just because I missed you. I knew something was wrong. Is wrong. If it wasn’t, I wouldn’t feel the need to come here and talk to you.”

“Nothing’s wrong Seul, I’m fine, we’re fine.” Wendy tried to remain calm while Seulgi burned her with her eyes.

“Okay. I’m gonna trust you. I shouldn’t, but I’m going to.” She said and motioned for Wendy to sit beside her. Well, that was easy.

“So… we’re dropping that?” Wendy asked sounding unconvinced.

“Yeah, you said we’re fine.” Seulgi spoke while serving Wendy some of the takeout. “But…” Oh here we go. Wendy felt her heart pound in her chest, waiting for Seulgi to continue.

“I want you to promise me that if anything changes between us, you’re gonna tell me. So we can figure it out together. I know I haven’t been a good best friend since I started dating, but I’ll promise to do my best and not let you down. I want you to know that I love you. You’re my best friend, I could never love someone more than I love you.”

Seulgi finished and stared at Wendy. They stayed like that for a moment, which was enough for Seungwan to turn beet red. If Seulgi noticed, she didn’t say anything and proceeded to grab Wendy’s hand. At that Wendy looked down to see their intertwined hands and thought for a second.

“Seulgi, there’s actually something bothering me. It’s that…. I….” She started sounding unsure, but when Seulgi gripped her hand tighter, she looked up to see her best friend’s face reassuring that it was okay to take her time.

Wendy took a big breath in. She prepared to what was coming next. “Okay. It’s that I—”

She got cut off by Seulgi’s ringtone, making her relax visibly while Seulgi tended to her caller.

“Hey babe! Yeah, I’m at Wendy’s. Uh-hum. Okay. No, it’s fine, we can reschedule. I’m sure! It’s nothing. Okay then. Bye! Stay safe! Love you!” Seulgi ended her call with an ear-to-ear smile.

“Sorry, that was Jeongin, he called to say that he had to do something in the same day as our date. Anyways, what were you about to tell me?” She looked at Wendy expectantly.

“Ah… that… was nothing. Nothing important.” Wendy shrugged off and started eating their forgotten food. “Let’s eat. It’s getting cold. I’m gonna put that anime on.”

Seulgi didn’t pry and agreed with Wendy, their food was getting cold. They ate while watching the show while chatting idly. Throughout their dinner Wendy thought back about how she chickened out last minute. She said the first word of the infamous three-word-sentence. She felt like a fool but tried to reason with herself like “it wasn’t the right time”. She looked at Seulgi while the other girl slurped her noodles happily while watching that super gory anime.

She couldn’t bring herself to lie to her best friend, but for now, that was for the best. That is, until she’s certain on how to convey those feelings.


	3. dresses, make up and tears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> seulgi asks wendy to help her pick a dress for her date.

Wendy always thought being in love was beautiful. From TV dramas to real life romance, Wendy thought it was beautiful. Love was something pure, innocent and real. Love alters the brains chemicals drastically, making us feel overjoyed and invincible, a strong feeling that make people do things they would never do if they weren’t in love. Like in those dramas the guy takes the bullet for the girl, wanting his lover to survive and live her life, even if it means not being part of it.

Love was scary, yet so beautiful and worth it. Wendy always thought that. Until now.

Now she thought love was just scary. Very scary and confusing. She was at Seulgi’s house, in her room, watching her change into dress after dress. Maybe she was getting light headed.

Seulgi wanted help choosing a dress for her date with Jeongin tonight, so she called Wendy to help her. Wendy promptly accepted but she didn’t think her best friend would change in front of her. Of course, they have done it many times, since they are childhood friends, but Wendy couldn’t erase the thought that for her it felt different. Not just the usual intimacy and skinship but looking at Seulgi’s room— the same room from years ago, it felt different. Wendy couldn’t help to look at it with other eyes. She couldn’t help looking at Seulgi with other eyes. She felt guilty and somewhat dirty.

This time, she didn’t think she deserved to love. She thought she didn’t deserve feeling something so beautiful while she mixed it up with lewd thoughts. She couldn’t call this love. Love was the eternal feeling she would feel for Seulgi. Romantic feelings or not. This was desire. Wendy felt wrong having dirty thoughts about her best friend, whom she loved so much since a young age.

And right now, Wendy felt dirty just standing there, with Seulgi in her underwear in front of her. She couldn’t look up. It was the nth time this has happened, and every time she would overreact.

“So, what do you think about this one? I haven’t worn this one in years but it’s still pretty. Do you think Jeongin would like it?”

Wendy took a quick glance at Seulgi. “T-this is fine. It’s a fine dress. Y-you look good on in, I think he’s gonna like it,”

“Wendy, come on. You didn’t even look at it.” Seulgi said with a frown. Wendy was looking anywhere but her, eyes darting from place to place just to avoid looking at Seulgi’s semi naked body. Wendy hear shuffling and looked in Seulgi’s direction to find her already dressed.

She looked amazing. She always did. It was weird because a moment ago she couldn’t look at Seulgi, and now she was staring. She looked at every inch of her best friend and when she looked at her face, Seulgi was smiling, spinning around, looking at herself in the mirror. Wendy was mesmerized. Seulgi must have felt her piercing gaze through the mirror and turned around to Wendy.

“So, how do I look?” She asked holding the end of her plain red dress, like she was greeting someone very formally, like in the old times. It ended just above her knee and gave a certain pin-up vibe because of the skirt.

“You look…. beautiful.” Wendy said in a low voice, still admiring Seulgi, this time feeling no shame. What she didn’t see was Seulgi’s cheek slightly blushing at the compliment. She smiled affectionately at Wendy and mumbled a shy “thanks” before turning to her dresser.

“So… now… its make-up time.” Seulgi started digging out her products laid them all to start the makeup process. Meanwhile, Wendy just looked at her bear-like friend, lost within her thoughts.

Since they started dating, Wendy could they that Seulgi was happy. She would talk about him and the things he did for her and smile while looking embarrassed. Every time he called, she would answer happily, calling him pet names and saying she missed him very much. Seulgi acted like she was in love, but for Wendy, it didn’t seem like it. Something was off. She was happy, but Wendy has known Seulgi for a very long time and she would certainly now if her best friend was in love with someone.

She pondered for a while, then spoke.

“Hey Seul, can I ask you something?” Wendy spoke a little reluctant. Her voice was soft but somehow afraid.

“Yeah, sure, what’s up Wannie?” She asked while continuing doing her makeup.

“Do you… do you love him?” Wendy asked, not feeling anything but concern for her friend. “I-I mean… you always say you love him, but…”

Seulgi stopped applying mascara and looked down. She looked sad, maybe even confused. Wendy knew it, something was off. She should have asked earlier. She should’ve noticed earlier.

“I…. don’t know.” Seulgi admitted. She looked guilty. “I like him very much, he treats me very well, but… I don’t know. I feel like I’m trying to prove something to myself. Like I need to love him back.” She turned around to face Wendy. “I don’t think I love him, Wannie.”

Wendy’s heart dropped from her chest at Seulgi’s words. She could feel her sorrow and guilty and suddenly her own feelings didn’t matter. She just wanted to make Seulgi not feel this way. She moved forward to grab Seulgi’s hand, as in to comfort her. She ignored the sudden flutter in her heart, she wasn’t going to make this about her.

“Seul… I have been feeling different things too… I feel… confused. But it’s okay, we got each other’s backs, right? You’re not obligated to love him, it’s okay.” She was trying not to blabber too much; their faces were very close, and she could feel Seulgi’s eyes bore into her. “We’re fine. We’re gonna be fine.” She said that more to herself, but it didn’t matter. Somehow her words affected Seulgi, who was smiling at Wendy, teary-eyed.

“Thank you Wannie, I appreciate it.” She tried wiping some of the tears that were about to fall. “I can’t cry I have makeup on—” She looked at her eyeliner stained fingers and looked up to meet Wendy’s eyes. “Oh no.”

Wendy almost blew a raspberry seeing Seulgi’s stained face. She had smudged her eyeliner and now she had a bigger line in her eyelids. She tried cleaning it but to no avail. Wendy tried helping her, but it didn’t make things better too. Seulgi stared at her reflection and just started laughing, making Wendy laugh too.

“Hey, come here you dumb bear. Let me help you properly,” Wendy grabbed a cotton swab and drenched in the makeup remover. “You have a date, you can’t go with your makeup all ruined.” Seulgi eye smiled at her. “Let me fix it,”

Wendy cupped Seulgi’s cheek for support and started cleaning the messy side. Once again, their faces were so close she could see Seulgi’s pores. She tried to calm down her erratic heartbeat, afraid her best friend could somehow hear it. Seulgi’s breath was even and she looked relaxed, making Wendy even more aware of her actions.

She focused on cleaning the messy parts and when she was almost finished, Seulgi spoke.

“Thank you, Wendy.” She said in a low voice, almost in a whisper.

“I didn’t finish yet,” Wendy said, confused.

“No, I mean, for earlier. Thank you for earlier. You have no idea how meaningful your words were. You truly are my best friend.” She said smiling sheepishly. “The dumb bear best friend.” Mentioning this, she smiled ear to ear, unaware of the affect it had on Wendy.

She finished her ministrations and looked down at her hands. “I am. And I don’t plan the stop being the dumb bear best friend.”

They both looked at each other with big smiles and a moment later Seulgi’s mom knocked on the door, saying “the boy that makes you get home late is here!” and with that Seulgi finished dressing quickly. She said goodbye to Wendy and told her she could stay for dinner with her parents, knowing Wendy wouldn’t eat well at her dorm room.

“Bye Wannie, I’ll call you,” She said while exiting her room, leaving Wendy alone with her thought again. Maybe she would stay for dinner, that way she wouldn’t have to buy something from the convenience store.

Wendy stared at the door for a few moments, recalling the conversation they had. This wasn’t about her, at least not for now. She was okay being like this. She already accepted it.

“Yeah… I’m definitely in love.” Wendy said, small smile forming in her lips. Maybe love it wasn’t that scary after all.


	4. think, bear, think!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> seulgi thinks. and worries. a LOT.

Wendy used to talk to Seulgi about everything. She would tell Seulgi about her internet friends, about the latest songs she was into, about her celebrity crushes, everything. She would call Seulgi’s phone at 3am to tell her something she’s been thinking about earlier. And Seulgi would listen intently, even if sometimes it sounded dumb. Even if Wendy would start rambling anxiously about her looks or weight, she would listen and then tell her she shouldn’t worry, that’s she’s perfectly fine.

But now, Wendy didn’t talk to Seulgi. Not that much.

Seulgi was facing her laptop screen, trying to get some work done when she started thinking about Wendy. The slightly younger girl appeared in her thoughts a lot more than usual for some reason. She thought back about the times they were inseparable, being at each other’s houses all the time, going out to get ice cream every day, even when it was freezing cold outside. Seulgi treasured those moments like they were the most important in her life. For her, the simplicity and lightness of their friendship made their bond special, like she wouldn’t feel this same feeling very soon.

It was kind of difficult to pinpoint where their friendship had changed. Seulgi has been thinking about it for months now, asking her friends, boyfriend and even her parents about it. But now, sitting there, procrastinating, a light shone on her. She sat up straight and looked at her picture with Seungwan, beautifully framed in white carved wood frame. She threw a side smile at it, thinking her best friend was beautiful as ever. They took that photo in a school trip during high school, in an aquarium they went to visit. Wendy was fascinated with everything and a little overwhelmed for some reason, so she grasped Seulgi’s left arm and stayed there for a while. Seulgi thought it was a great opportunity to take a picture, so she did, and the outcome turned out beautiful. Wendy wasn’t looking at the camera, instead she was observing the shark tank, which shone a blue light that colored her face in a way that made her stunning. The picture was just Wendy clinging onto Seulgi, who was looking at her with adoring eyes.

Seulgi always thought that picture represented them perfectly, considering Wendy always clung onto Seulgi over nothing and Seulgi just smiled it off. Their friendship was made of Wendy being clingy and Seulgi just going with it because… well, because it was Wendy.

But now Seulgi was confused. Her friend was not talkative and cheerful as always, instead, since a few months ago, she turned somewhat sad. Seulgi’s sun had stopped shining brightly and her world was now dark, without any kind of happiness. She tried shrugging Seungwan’s behavior off, but after a while, she couldn’t ignore it more. It was ripping every happiness of her, knowing that her best friend was sad somehow and she couldn’t help. Whenever she tried to start a conversation about this Wendy was fast to change de subject. Seulgi was frustrated. She was doing something wrong, but she didn’t know what it was. She was missing something, and she knew it, but couldn’t pinpoint what it was exactly, leaving her with empty guesses about what that was bothering Seungwan.

Seulgi was about to dive in further on her thoughts when her phone rang.

jeongin <3

_hey baby!! ___

____

____

_i got two tickets for that new movie u wanted to see_

_wanna come? the session is in about 2h so theres time for you to get ready_

_and we can have dinner together!! waddaya say?? <3_

She sighed at her lockscreen that contained the messages and stared at them until the phone turned black again, only to put it back on the table. She didn’t want to answer him. Seulgi had been ignoring him for the past few weeks, replying and going out with him occasionally. But ever since that night that Wendy helped her pick her outfit for her date with him, she felt weird. Seulgi felt as if being with him was a bad choice and felt as if she was betraying someone. She spent the entire date thinking about going home and ending everything with Jeongin, but she thought it was a passenger feeling.

Turns out it wasn’t, and she got sick of him. She couldn’t stand hearing his voice or smelling his perfume. Not even the hugs and kisses she thought she enjoyed had lost all their magic. The feeling she had of betraying someone was, in fact, the feeling of betraying herself. Seulgi had fooled herself to love him, in hopes of forgetting her feelings towards someone very special to her.

Avoinding eye contact, the blushes, the voice tremor...

“Oh my god, I’m such a dumbass.” With that Seulgi grabbed her phone once again and opened her messages app and typed a rushed message to her boyfriend.

Me

_hey! id like that but can we do something else?_

_i have to talk to you about something_

joengin <3

_its fine sweetheart, whatever u want_

_are u okay?_

Me

_yeah im fine_

_its just_

_i realized something i should’ve earlier_


	5. late night wet takeout

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wendy doesn't want to talk about it.
> 
> seulgi is dying to talk about it.
> 
> their worlds clash hard.

Wendy thought her day couldn’t get worse.

It started just like a normal day would: she woke up and went to class, had lunch after class and got to her part time job at the campus café. Only to encounter a familiar face staring her when she was changing to her work clothes. The familiar burning in the back of her neck made Wendy sigh and just hope for the best, she really didn’t want to discuss her romantic life with the person who was staring at her. Especially with the person staring at her.

“Sooyoung, what is it?” She calmly addressed her workmate while tying her apron, facing the mirror in her locker.

“You know,” Joy began moving slowly towards Wendy, hands behind her back and staring the ground. “… in another occasion I would certainly tell you to not call me Sooyoung, as I always do,” She stopped beside Wendy and laid back on the locker adjacent to Wendy’s. “…. but I won’t do that today because you look like someone ran you over with a truck. Twice.”

Wendy predicted this. She couldn’t fake her feelings to Joy. She was very smart and perceptive of these things. Especially when it was feelings stuff. She had been very downcast since that day in Seulgi’s house. She had been avoiding Seulgi the best she could without hurting her best friend’s feelings. She needed time to figure out what she had to do before, and she couldn’t end a life time friendship just because she was being impulsive. Wendy felt bad but she knew she had to this, it was the best variable she could think of.

“Look… Joy, I’m really not in the mood to talk about this. It’s very complicated and I need to do some thinking by myself.” She looked at Joy apologetically and turned to close her locker to start her shift. Wendy pulled the door open just for it to be closed by Joy. She stood tall by the closed door, staring down at Wendy.

“Seung— Wendy. Come on, you’ve been like this for weeks. You can’t seriously think it’s going the right way. Have you tried talking to her at least? She might be very understandable, she seems like a reasonable girl,” Joy offered, seemed a little bit too desperate for Wendy’s confort.

“What do you have to do with this? I already said I don’t need help.” She reached out to the doorknob, but Joy caught her hand and took it between hers.

“I know you need help. You just don’t want to ask for it,” Joy looked at their hands and sighed. “I’m your friend you dumbass, of course it’s my business too! I worry about you and your gay-for-my-childhood-friend heart.”

Wendy gave Joy a weak side smile and turned her face to the floor. It was getting harder not to cry every second. Joy was a good friend and she managed to upset her too. “Sorry, I’m just very—"

“Confused, I know. And it’s okay, I got you,” Then she felt her shoulders being caught by warm and suddenly she was pressed against Joy’s chest. “You’re sad and acting very strange, I just want to help. You’re my friend, I don’t want to see you like that. How about we talk about this after we close up?”

Joy gently pushed Wendy from her to look at her. She gave her a big smile, encouraging Wendy to smile too. Joy managed to somewhat bring a lot more happiness into her life, giving her confidence and acting like a sturdy pillar for Wendy to lean on. She was just starting to realize how big Joy’s impact in her life was.

“Yeah, that sounds good,” Said Wendy, trying not to tear up over the sudden act of affection.

She could now rest at ease, knowing that she won’t be alone to decide such big things in her life, like how she would confess her love to Seulgi without messing everything up.

Wendy got to her dorm just before rain started to pour. Thankfully she had enough groceries to cook a decent dinner, going out to grocery shopping was not an option right now. She thought just some greens with simple dressing, some rice and some meat would compensate the amount of trash she had consumed over the week. Living alone was hard.

She thought back to her conversation with Sooyoung and couldn't help but worrying a little bit. Were her feelings that apparent? She tried to shake off the thoughts and started prepping her vegetables and greens when her phone ringed. It was a message from Seulgi.

ddeulgi aka dumb bear

wannie, can we meet?

like right now

i miss you a lot and i want to talk to you

Wendy froze at the last message. What does Seulgi want to talk about? She didn’t do nothing wrong. Except partially ignoring her best friend for a long period of time, but other than that, she was innocent.

She decided not to reply. Maybe Seulgi would think she had late classes or late-night study sessions. She put her phone down with a heavy heart, felling guilty for not answering Seulgi when she used to answer her pronto. Wendy tried to focus her attention on her cooking, trying not to let the guilt consume her. As she cooked, she reminisced about all the times the shared with Seulgi. All the times her best friend acted like her girlfriend and all the times she wished Seulgi was her girlfriend. Wendy felt somewhat greedy for wishing that amazing and loved-by-everyone Seulgi would be her girlfriend. Since high school she felt like she was betraying Seulgi’s confidence by liking her, and even now in college almost and adult, she would feel guilty.

She let her mind wander back through her memories and soon enough she was done cooking her dinner. Work had been exhausting and classes are no good, but a good meal would cheer her up. Night time never felt so cozy, with a steamy bowl of rice and fresh vegetables in front of her, while it poured outside. Wendy forgot her previous feelings while enjoying her food and the mood she was enveloped in.

Wendy had a few bites of her food when someone knocked on her door. It wasn’t late, but it was late enough for her to have guests over. She went over to her door and opened. She didn’t process the identity of the person before her immediately, just stood staring at them trying to think of anything to say.

“Hi.” Seulgi said in a weak and nasal voice. She was drenched from head to toe, he bangs stuck to her forehead, water droplets falling from her chin. “You didn’t answer me, so I thought I’d drop by.” A meek smile escaped her lips, as if she was embarrassed of what she was doing.

“Hi,” Wendy scanned her once again and looked at her face. “You’re soaked, Seulgi, what were you thinking?” She took Seulgi’s hand and dragged her in her apartament.

“I needed to talk to you, and you wouldn’t answer so I came here. It started to rain when I was walking, and I didn’t have an umbrella with me so...” Seulgi elaborated on her story.

Wendy could only be mad at her. She was risking getting sick just because she thought she had to talk to Wendy tonight. “You dumb bear… you never learn. Come on, go take a hot shower, I’ll lend you some clothes and make you some tea. You can’t get sick because of me, I’ll never forgive myself.” She started guiding Seulgi towards her bathroom, but she felt resistance.

“No, I have to tell you something.” Seulgi stood firm and looked at Wendy confidently.

“You can tell me after you take a shower, you’re drenched! You’re gonna get sick, Seul—.” Wendy motioned towards her bathroom once more but was denied once again.

“Wendy, just let me talk okay?” Seulgi interrupted her with a calm yet firm voice and looked at her with pleading eyes. Wendy knew this look; Seulgi was nervous. Droplets of water were falling from her clothes and Wendy knew Seulgi wasn’t shaking because she was cold.

“Okay, so… I broke up with Jeongin,” Wendy was ready to say something but Seulgi cut her short. “I’m fine, he’s fine. It was a mutual decision. But what I really wanted to say is that I noticed.” She stopped looking at Wendy and stared at the floor. “I noticed, and I’m sorry it took so long.” Wendy wasn’t sure she understood what her best friend was confessing, but every time she tried to ask something Seulgi would ask her to just listen to her.

“I’m sorry it took so long for me to notice, really. I guess I needed time to let that sink in. My relationship with Jeongin was awesome. He is a good guy, a good kisser, he treated me very well, my family liked him. But you didn’t like him. I know you didn’t and even though that bothered me, I never gave it much thought. It was up until recently, when you started to avoid me that I traced back my steps and realized what I’ve missed.”

At this point, Wendy knew what was going on. But she had nowhere to run and Seulgi had figured out her secret crush. Seulgi wouldn’t want to be friends with her, it was all over.

Her nervousness was noticed by Seulgi, who came up to her and held her hands, tightly.

“Hey, it’s okay, just listen to me. I’m not over yet.” Seulgi reassured her resumed her speech while she caressed the back of Wendy’s hands.

“I realized I didn’t like Jeongin. Something was missing, and my mind would always go back to that one person who was with me since forever. Again, I’m sorry for noticing it so late, but I’m here now.” She grasped Wendy’s hands tighter. “I love you. I think I always have, I just didn’t notice it.” She looked Wendy straight in the eyes. “I love you, and I think you love me too.”

Wendy stood speechless, she could swear all her blood had been drained from her body. She felt light headed and that was not good, at all.

“Seulgi… I….” She was shocked and trying to think of something to say.

“It’s okay, it’s a lot to process and I dumped it all over you at once, maybe I should’ve told it in parts, and maybe I’m assuming a lot of stuff now, and since I’m an oblivious person I—” Seulgi’s rambling was cut short by Wendy’s voice.

“Seulgi, I love you too. I always have, but I figured it out earlier.” Wendy grasped Seulgi’s face and stared at it for a second, heart full of emotions. She leaned forward, looking at Seulgi’s lips, she felt warmth in her chest and that weird feeling she’s been feeling since high school. But this time, it was different. Seulgi closed their distance and Wendy could swear she heard fireworks. Seulgi’s lips were soft as she imagined, and she tasted like pineapple chapstick. Wendy’s lightheadedness appeared once again as Seulgi put her hands on Wendy’s waist for a more comfortable position.

They broke the kiss and stared at each other smiling. Wendy felt something weird, and this time it wasn’t because of Seulgi or the kiss they just shared.

“Ah, yes, of course. I got wet.” Wendy said after patting her clothes to check their humidity. After realizing what she had said, she quickly looked back at Seulgi. “Don’t make puns. Not yet, I don’t think I’m ready.”

Seulgi let a laugh escape, eyes turning into crescents and Wendy was sure that was the most beautiful human being she knew.

“Sorry, I had to make it feel like a true first kiss. You know, like in the movies,” Wendy wasn’t sure she meant by that but continued to listen. “And sorry I got you wet, it wasn’t my intention.” She finished wiggling her eyebrows playfully.

“Shut up, you stupid bear! I swear to god…” She smacked Seulgi’s arm with a smile from ear to ear. She couldn’t believe it happened.

“I may be a stupid bear but now you’re the stupid bear’s girlfriend.” Wendy smiled at that and placed a soft peck on Seulgi’s lips.

“Yeah, I’d love that.” And with that, her dinner that was long forgotten, had been resumed when Seulgi was properly dressed and warm. The new girlfriends spent their first night together, sharing their stories and Wendy felt like she just won the lottery. Her feelings from earlier were washed away by Seulgi’s sweet and gentle actions. 

Maybe it wasn’t so bad to be in love with your best friend. Wendy had said her most precious words to the most precious human she knew, and she heard the same words from her. Seulgi’s “I love you” would be her most treasured words for a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey! it's done! i hope you liked how it turned out!
> 
> i mean, it was already done, this is for interaction purposes hehe
> 
> tell me what you liked the most! and would you read an epilogue kind of chapter showing wenseul in their newfound relationship?


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